The New York Post has what I’d describe as a rather scandalized story about a Brazilian model being dumped by her boyfriend after she refused to fly economy with him, and instead, booked a separate ticket in business class.
I think this topic raises a more widely interesting question — if you’re in a new relationship, what’s the correct protocol when planning travel, and one person typically flies business class, while the other person typically flies economy class?
Airplane “class” divide causes relationship problems
A Brazilian model (who has 2.5 million Instagram followers) claims she was dumped by her boyfriend after they discovered some seemingly irreconcilable differences while planning a trip to Paris. The pair had reportedly been dating for around three months, and decided to plan their first trip together, from Sao Paulo to Paris.
When it came time to book flights, they were each going to pay for their own tickets. The boyfriend felt that “business class was too expensive,” while the model prioritized “comfort while traveling,” and claims “I allow myself that luxury when I can — I’ve always traveled that way.”
So the model ended up booking herself a business class ticket, while her boyfriend booked himself an economy ticket, with the model claiming that “each of us chose what fit our budget and beliefs,” and “I didn’t want to pay for his ticket because I believe everyone should choose how they want to travel.”
After the tickets were booked, her boyfriend “began acting distant,” and “he started to change and made passive aggressive comments, saying it wasn’t fair that I was in another class and claimed it showed a lack of unity.” The model has a different take, claiming that “deep down, he didn’t want to share anything,” “he wanted me to shrink myself to fit his reality,” and “he tried to make me feel guilty for choosing something better for myself, it felt like he couldn’t handle the fact that I wasn’t depending on him.”
In the days leading up to the trip, the boyfriend decided to break things off, citing the flight dispute as the breaking point. As the model explains, “he broke up with me over the phone, saying the whole flight situation showed we were on different levels and that it wouldn’t work.”
The model claims this wasn’t a function of dating outside her “class,” explaining that “what’s ironic is that he actually has more money than I do, but still got upset with my choice,” and that “he didn’t refuse business class because he couldn’t afford it — he just thought it was an unnecessary expense.”
What’s the correct etiquette here?
In the past, I’ve written broadly about the topic of flying first class, and leaving your spouse in economy. That question often comes up in the context of one spouse having a business trip where maybe their company pays for a premium cabin, while their spouse comes along in economy.
The dynamics here are a bit different. This was early on in the relationship, and the pair were booking their tickets separately. There’s no denying that people take very different approaches to how they book travel. It’s not uncommon to see some wealthy people who just think premium cabin travel isn’t worth it, so they just rough it in economy. Meanwhile there may be less wealthy people who want to live their best lives, and value paying for those experiences, and aren’t as concerned about savings.
Looking at this situation, I suppose there are several ways this could’ve played out differently:
- The girlfriend could’ve instead agreed to fly economy class
- The boyfriend could’ve splurged on business class
- The girlfriend could’ve paid for the boyfriend to fly business class
- The couple could’ve agreed on some middle ground, like premium economy
I do think the “traditional” gender roles being reversed here is an interesting angle. If people were newly dating and the man had booked business class and let the woman fly in economy, I think this would be (almost) universally criticized.
Fundamentally, I think the couple should’ve reached some sort of compromise so that they could travel in the same class. It just doesn’t set a great precedent for creating a partnership if you’re on such different pages, and unwilling to compromise, even if it’s early on.
It’s noteworthy how the model claims “I believe everyone should choose how they want to travel.” Did the pair also choose to stay at different hotels? Dine at different restaurants? Take different forms of transportation? I don’t think either party is right or wrong here, other than to say that I think they probably weren’t a good match. Looking at this woman’s Instagram, it’s clear she likes flashy things and luxury, and if he’s less about that (and not willing to make adjustments), it’s probably not a great fit.
I haven’t been in a new relationship in a decade, so I don’t have much recent firsthand experience here. I will say, miles & points certainly come in handy. I remember the first big trip that Ford and I took was in Emirates first class (thanks to Alaska Mileage Plan!), and our second was in Cathay Pacific first class.
Funny side note — I remember when we started dating, I was thinking to myself “man, we’ve gotta move this along a little faster,” because our relationship starting coincided with the awful long haul first class American AAdvantage devaluation a decade ago, where the cost of Cathay Pacific first class increased in cost from 62,500 miles to 110,000 miles.
Bottom line
A model claims she was dumped after her boyfriend of three months was angry when she booked business class, while he booked economy, for their first trip as a couple. The couple had different priorities — she felt like they should each book travel the way they wanted to, while he thought that she should’ve considered their relationship.
I’m not sure there’s any single right solution here, other than communicating and finding a compromise that both parties are happy with. I do think that flying in separate cabins on your first trip as a couple doesn’t set a good precedent.
What do you think the right solution is in this situation?
